This is perhaps unusual... but I've been in love with the same guy (my best friend) for 3 years now, and have never told him. I've outright lied to everyone I know about it, and have allowed it to take over my mind and my heart and my relationship with God. It's making me bitter and angry every moment of every day, it's making me tempted to fall back into cutting, I can't sleep anymore, and I just want it to be surrendered. I don't want to keep building my life around this obsession, and I don't want to keep living with a mask. I don't want to keep on yelling at God because He won't make the relationship work. I don't know if my family and friends would ever forgive me if they knew how much I've lied, but I have to believe that God can forgive. I want to really believe that He is all I need, for my life to echo this rather than it just being something I say.