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confessional
Cutting
When I was in grade 8 my life took a turn for the worst, my family was breaking apart from the in side and I felt like I couldn`t be seen by anyone, I felt alone and like I was nothing. 3 months into the school year I met a girl and I thought that I found the one for me, but after a year and nine months (grade nine) she left me for another guy, this made me forget about God and my family and I just gave up on my life. That summer I went to a christian camp, and for 3 weeks before camp I stopped cutting, but at camp I couldn`t hold off anymore because I felt like I was being seen for what I was, and three days into the week at camp I desided that life wasn`t worth it anymore, so I attempted to commit suicside for the first time. As the year went on I just couldn`t take it anymore, everyday I would cut and just leave myself to bleed, and everytime I felt further from God, and further from everything that I cared about, at that time was go betwen girls like they were nothing, in the years from grade nine to grade ten I had 4 different girlfriends, each of them left me for other guys, and everytime I just wanted to die. In 2009 in my grade 10 year I met a girl that was in the same possition that I was in, and when I felt like I wasn`t good enough for her, so I started cutting, but as well I found a girl that seemed to love me even though I was with a girl already, and so I deside that I would leave my girlfriend and tell her that I found someone else, and when I told her she was totally devistated and she gave up on herself and the more that I saw her I knew that I made the worst disision in my life, and that was when I left her. A few months later I finally saw what I needed, I turned to God, and saw my life in a new light, and I saw who I needed to be with, my real girlfriend. And so I asked her for one more chance, and she gave me that chance, and so I started to live my life for God, my family, and for God, and so now in Febuary 2010 it has been 2 months since I cut for the last time, and so far I have felt like I truly need God to live my life. Thank God.
hey, that is so cool! I wish i could say the same but it's only been barely two weeks. if you get the chance read Leviticus 19:28 and 21:5 I found those yesterday and it's pretty cool! I never thought until yesterday God might have something to say about cutting but turns out He does! You can make it. set your mind on things above and you can do it!
comment posted by Joy on 2.5.2010 @ 2:48PM
hey. i just cut this morning. it's getting bad and i've gotten so close to killing myself so many times i can't even count them. but everytime, something has happened to me and i haven't. i can know that God doesn't want me to die but i can't trust Him in that. just rememer that no matter what, God wants you back. anything that happens, you can always go back to Him.
comment posted by naomi on 3.18.2010 @ 1:22PM
Keep strong my friends. By the grace of God alone, I have not cut since December of 2008. Thankfully, these scars have now turned into reminders of how powerful and awesome my God is. I have no doubt that He is using my experiences and my previous suicide attempts to His glory. In the same way, I know that he will use your experiences and your struggles to His glory. Stay strong. He is love.
comment posted by Kimberly on 4.24.2010 @ 9:47 AM